In honor of our ninth wedding anniversary, I thought I would share nine of the lessons that I have learned. Some of them are simple while others I am sure that I will continue to learn for the rest of my life. Regardless, I hope that they will be a blessing or help to you. So here
- God is Good.
One of my favorite verses in the Bible is Nahum 1:7, “The Lord is good…” It is so true! One of God’s greatest demonstrations of goodness in my life was when He gave me Sheila. She is definitely way, way more than I deserve!
- God Honors Faith.
One of the most important decisions God brought me to in life was to rest in Him about a life companion. I certainly wanted to be married and I wanted it in my time. I remember the day that I finally just said to God, “I will wait for the right person and the right time.” It was a huge step of faith for me which led to spiritual growth and eventually to finding my wife.
- Marriage is a Blessing.
If you have listened to people talk about marriage, you have likely heard some sour perspectives about it. You have heard such things as a wife referred to as the”Old Lady” or the “Nag.” Some liken marriage to a ball and chain. I just want to say I love being married and have found marriage to be a gigantic blessing. Sure it has its ups and downs as well as its cycles. Every relationship does. Yet that does not change the fact that it is a blessing!
- Two are Better than One.
Solomon said this in Ecclesiastes and I have found it to be true! Sheila is to me a friend, comrade, completer, helper, counselor and encourager! When I am discouraged, she finds something to say to lift my spirit. God said that it was not good for man to be alone. He knew what He talking about. I remember the bachelor days and I say two are definitely better than one.
- Humility is Key.
I mentioned that marriage has its ups and downs. There are times that Sheila and I have not agreed and have been upset at one another. However, when we got married, we made vows committing ourselves to each other for the rest of our lives. Being committed to each other is also a commitment to work through disagreements. There have been many times in the past nine years that I have had to humble myself and say, “I was wrong, you were right and I love you.” Pride will kill a marriage, humility will grow it.
- Communication Cannot Be Overdone.
We started communicating in the early stages of our relationship. We talked about everything—our dreams, goals, desires, expectations, fears and thoughts. We have often asked each other, “What is going on in your heart?” We have tried to always be comfortable with talking out our feelings and thoughts. Frustration mounts when communication lessens. Open communication takes constant work and but it is worth it!
- A Wife’s Intuition is a Great Thing.
I have heard many older men say, “Learn to listen to your wife.” I assume they learned that from not listening to their wives. One of the reasons behind the advice given is that God created women with intuition. My wife often has a sense about a situation, person or decision that I have never thought about. Her input has many times proven invaluable.
- I am not Complete without Her.
Undoubtedly you have heard men say of their wives, “She is my better half.” Again, that is so true of my wife. She completes me. I need her in my life. She makes everything I do better.
- True Love is Christ’s Love.
We live in a society that defines love based on emotion. When Christ told men to love their wives, He was not speaking of an emotional love, but a sacrificial love. I confess, I have a lot of growth in this, but I have learned that the love I must have for my wife must be selfless and sacrificial. I am learning to delight in putting self aside and meeting her needs. When I practice Christ’s love toward her, I find that I am truly fulfilled. Before I was married, I asked a pastor to give me one piece of advice for marriage. He told me to work on getting rid of selfishness in my life. I have learned that I cannot show Christ’s love, true love, and be selfish.
These are things I have learned and will continue to learn. I am so very thankful for our marriage and look forward to the years ahead together!