Family

Reflections on Couples Retreat

Posted on March 1, 2015March 2, 2015 by josiahkagin

I always enjoy spending time with my wife. She is my best friend, cheerleader and soulmate. This was our second annual couples retreat at Grace Baptist Church. I would like to share several blessings of having and attending couples retreat.

Growing Together—Couples retreat is an awesome opportunity for God to work on a couple together. My wife and I hear the same Bible truth together and are given opportunity to respond to that truth together. It seems that God gives a focused openness to each other and an excitement about putting into practice what has been received.
Gaining Wisdom—We do well to listen and accept the advice of those who have walked with God for many years. We were privileged to have Dr. Bob Taylor and his wife Joan as our speakers. God used the wisdom they have gained from fifty plus years of marriage to give Biblical insight. I appreciated men in the older generation being willing to share all that God has taught them over the years.
Encouraging Others—It is exciting to see God’s people edified. In a day when Biblical marriage is under attack, what a blessing it is when marriages are strengthened! I praise God for the work He did in mine and what I heard testified that He was doing in other’s.

In addition to these blessings, I want to give a two fold encouragement.

If you have not yet attended a couples retreat, plan to attend one! You will be blessed. Begin now to plan and save to be able to attend.
If you are a pastor and do not have an annual couples retreat, prayerfully consider beginning one. Strong families make up strong churches. Time investing in the marriages in your church will never be wasted time.

Anger

Posted on February 24, 2015February 24, 2015 by josiahkagin

Ephesians 4:26-27 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil.

I was reading Spiritual Leadership by J. Oswald Chambers and came across a helpful list of six conditions that make anger sinful. These were taught by Joseph Butler (1692–1752) and I believe helpful in evaluating our anger.

When, to favor a resentment or feud, we imagine an injury done to us.

When an injury done to us becomes, in our minds, greater than it really is.

When, without real injury, we feel resentment on account of pain or inconvenience.

When indignation rises too high, and overwhelms our ability to restrain.

When we gratify resentments by causing pain or harm out of revenge.

When we are so perplexed and angry at sin in our own lives that we readily project anger at the sin we find in others.

Technology and Christian Homes

Posted on February 12, 2015February 12, 2015 by josiahkagin

It is very clear that technology is not going to go away. Children and teenagers growing up now need parents to both protect and direct them in the Godly use of technology. The fact is they will be using technology daily as adults and the principles that they learn now will help them live Godly while using technology. Here are a few suggestions.

Use a family policy.
Every family with teens should have a carefully thought through and written set of guidelines regarding the use of technology. As with any guidelines, what is not inspected should not be expected. Be sure that you establish adequate accountability such as parents should have open access to all devices and accounts. By the way, open accountability ought be modeled by mom and dad. Teens ought to see that their parents are practicing what they preach.
Use your computer’s existing features.
Both Apple and Windows come with parental controls as a feature. You can set up allowed apps, sites people and time limits. Here are instructions for Mac and Windows. If you have Android devices, you can use an app called Kids Place. Apple devices have a built-in feature called restrictions.
Use an internet filter.
While parental controls limit access, filters filter content. There are two that I have discovered to be great options— Covenant Eyes and Safe Eyes. Each are full service filters. Each come with a monthly cost (which are cheaper than lifetime scars). I would encourage you to take the time and research a filter that is best for you and your family’s devices.
Develop the heart.
One man said in relation to the internet, “The best filter is the heart.” While parental controls and filters will make it harder to stumble on or intentionally view junk on the internet, the heart is what determines to do right or wrong. If a man, woman or teen has a heart for God and righteous living, they will not seek out the dark side of the internet. No filter is completely fail proof, but coupling a right heart and a good filter will insure internet safety.

Proverbs 4:20-27 My son, attend to my words;
Incline thine ear unto my sayings.
21 Let them not depart from thine eyes;
Keep them in the midst of thine heart.
22 For they are life unto those that find them,
And health to all their flesh.
23 Keep thy heart with all diligence;
For out of it are the issues of life.
24 Put away from thee a froward mouth,
And perverse lips put far from thee.
25 Let thine eyes look right on,
And let thine eyelids look straight before thee.
26 Ponder the path of thy feet,
And let all thy ways be established.
27 Turn not to the right hand nor to the left:
Remove thy foot from evil.

6 Benefits of Couples Retreat

Posted on February 8, 2015February 8, 2015 by josiahkagin

In just a few weeks Grace Baptist Church will host its second annual Couples Retreat. This year we are privileged to have Pastor Chuck and Linda Phelps from Indianapolis, Indiana. As I think about the benefits of a Couples Retreat, some thoughts come to mind.

It gives time to focus on your spouse.
With our fast paced culture, what does not get planned does not get done. If we are not careful, building our marriages can become a last priority.
It gives God an opportunity to speak to you.
Sometimes it takes a change of pace, surroundings and a different voice for us to hear what God is trying to say to us. You can be sure if you set aside time to hear from God, He will speak to you through His word. Remember, God’s Word has the answers for having a vibrant, successful marriage.
It will encourage teamwork.
As you and your spouse hear from God’s Word lessons geared toward your relationship, God will work in both of your hearts at the same time. He will show areas that need work. It is out of these times there comes a renewed desire to work on your marriage together.
It is an opportunity to be encouraged by other couples.
It is always a blessing to see and hear how God is working in the lives of others. It encourages us to keep at it. Perhaps you will get a tip or idea from another couple that will inspire you in your marriage.
It will say that you are interested in deepening your relationship.
What we take time for indicates our interests. Setting aside time to focus on your marriage will speak volumes to your spouse.
It will help you follow God’s plan.
God’s plan for every marriage is for it to be a lifetime love relationship. The statistics tell us that about half of marriages end in divorce. A strong marriage in the future depends on the decisions made in the present. Take advantage of present opportunities to strength the most your wonderful, awesome earthly relationship.

The Good Wife

Posted on March 16, 2014 by josiahkagin

This year at Couples Retreat we were delighted to have Pastor Jeff Hargraves from Chapmanville, West Virginia with us. One of the resources given was Biblical descriptions of the good husband and wife. These verses will help you to be the wife that God wants you to be. (Men, check out The Good Husband)

Leaves Mom and Dad and cleaves to her husband—Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife:and they shall be one flesh. (Genesis 2:24)
Guards against the natural desire to supplant her husband—Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. (Genesis 3:16)
Productive in the home—Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vineby the sides of thine house:thy children like olive plantsround about thy table. Behold, that thus shall the man be blessed that feareth the Lord. (Psalms 128:3,4)
Builds her home with wisdom—Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. (Proverbs 14:1)
Sees herself as precious and valuable—Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord. (Proverbs 18:22)
Excellent because she fears God—Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants ‘ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates. (Proverbs 31:10-31)
Respects God and her husband—The integrity of the upright shall guide them: but the perverseness of transgressors shall destroy them. When a wicked man dieth, his expectation shall perish: and the hope of unjust men perisheth. An hypocrite with his mouth destroyeth his neighbor: but through knowledge shall the just be delivered. By the blessing of the upright the city is exalted: but it is overthrown by the mouth of the wicked. He that is void of wisdom despiseth his neighbour:but a man of understanding holdeth his peace. (Proverbs 11:3,7,9,11,12)
Submits to her husband through love—Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church:and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. (Ephesians 5:22-24)
Subject to her husband according to God—Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. (Colossians 3:18-19)
Dresses modestly—In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works. (1 Timothy 2:9-10)
Loves her husband and teaches others the same—The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. (Titus 2:3-5)
Lives as an example for her husband—Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement. Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. (1 Peter 3:1-7)

Plan to attend Ladies’ Retreat at Grace Baptist Church May 2-3, 2014 with Cathy Jackson.

The Good Husband

Posted on February 25, 2014February 25, 2014 by josiahkagin

This year at Couples Retreat we were delighted to have Pastor Jeff Hargraves from Chapmanville, West Virginia with us. He and his wife, Ginger, were a real blessing to our couples. My wife and I really enjoyed the time to pause and invest in our relationship. In one of the sessions Pastor Hargraves went through a list of verses that describes a good husband and the good wife. Take sometime to read these verses and let them direct you to be a husband that pleases God.

Dedicated to his wife’s happiness—When a man hath taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war, neither shall he be charged with any business:but he shall be free at home one year, and shall cheer up his wife which he hath taken. (Deuteronomy 24:5)
Satisfied with his own wife—Drink waters out of thine own cistern,and running waters out of thine own well.Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets. (Proverbs 5:15-16)
Makes preparation—Prepare thy work without,and make it fit for thyself in the field; and afterwards build thine house. (Proverbs 24:27)
Sees his wife as God’s reward—Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun. (Ecclesiastes 9:9) House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the Lord. (Proverbs 19:14)
Guards his spirit—And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. (Malachi 2:15)
Submits his body to his wife—Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence:and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. (1 Corinthians 7:3-5)
Understands his headship—But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. (1 Corinthians 11:3)
Communicates openly with his wife—Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour:for we are members one of another. Be ye angry, and sin not:let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil. Let him that stole steal no more:but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth. Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you. (Ephesians 5:25-32)
Loves his wife as Christ loves the Church—Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church:and he is the saviour of the body. (Ephesians 5:22-23)
Not bitter toward his wife—Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright. For ye know how that afterward, when he would have inherited the blessing, he was rejected:for he found no place of repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears. (Hebrews 12:14-17) Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. (Colossians 3:18-19)
Provides for his home—But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. (1 Timothy 5:8)
Understands his wife and honors her—Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. (1 Peter 3:7)